"You're not hearing me"

Black Friday is typically a dead day in the salon.  Everyone is far too busy shopping for those "deals" to get their hair done.  (as evidenced by the client that blew me off for the mall yesterday). So, I was standing at the desk, doing mindless paperwork when a potential client walked up to me, asking me questions about her hair color.

The scenario:  She's older (maybe late 40's-early 50"s), long hair, gold at the top, white blonde from about the ears down to the middle of her back.  She's been coloring her hair at home for YEARS and totally "knows" what she's doing.

Her question:  Why isn't the color taking on the ends?  And why is it doing this at the top.
"Do you run the color through the ends of your hair?"  (by the looks of things, the answer is yes) "Oh, no.  The last two times, I didn't do that."  "But, you've done it in the past?"  "Not recently."  "Okay.  By my looking at your ends, you've applied the color to your entire head, a lot".  "But not recently.  You're not hearing me."  SIGH.

So, I start my scientific speech about what hair color does to the hair.  I get the "You're not listening to me" comment again.  To which I politely reply "But, you're not letting me finish.  I'm getting there".  Then, she lets me finish.  And what I'm saying somewhat makes sense.  I never specifically use an accusatory tone when I'm talking about applying hair color, so I don't offend any one.  And, I'm quick to point out it's never their fault, they're just following the directions on the box.

When she mentioned grey hair, I also told her that grey hair is different from pigmented hair, so it will take the color differently.  And that as we age, our hair gets darker, so it doesn't cooperate like it used to.  Which is why her regrowth area is gold and her ends are WHITE.  If she wants her regrowth to match her ends, bleach needs to be involved.

"Oh, I can't use bleach.  I'm allergic"  (You can't be allergic to bleach if you're using strong hair color...it's not much different, and ammonia is involved.  I don't say this)  "Have you ever used bleach before?"  "Oh, no."  "Then, how do you know you're allergic to bleach?"  "My mother told me I was allergic and to never use it, even in the laundry."  (GA-DOINK)  "Okay.  While, in theory, hair bleach (or lightener) and fabric bleach work in much the same way: removing all pigment until it's gone, you cannot use fabric bleach on your hair.  You need to come in sometime for a patch test, which is done either behind the ear or in the crook of your elbow, to see if you have an allergic reaction.  If you don't, we can proceed from there."

Unfortunately, this is NOT the first time I've heard comments like this, thinking you can use household products to do what hair color or hair care products do.  My own grandmother couldn't understand why you just couldn't use fabric softener on your hair.  It does the same thing.

Absolutely.  In THEORY, it does, in fact, do the same thing.  And household chemicals have similar side effects when not used properly. However, putting fabric softener on your hair will not do what you want it to, and neither will putting household bleach on your hair give you highlights.  And, while hair lightener, when splashed on your clothes, will lighten your clothing, conditioner in your laundry will NOT make your clothes softer.

ALSO:  After you've trashed the living hell out of your hair, putting a box of your "natural" color over the top of the whole mess does NOT instantly cure your hair and bring it back to what it was before you started messing with it (even if I do it instead of you).  I have explained this, numerous times, to a client of mine.  I think she keeps hoping that I'm going to finally praise her for a job well done on her hair color.  I would like to, really.  However, she wants long hair.  Her hair is fine.  She continually applies permanent color to her hair, regrowth to ends, EVERY TIME.  She doesn't like her natural dark color, and she freaks out about the random grey hairs she has, so she MUST color it.  She will go out of her way to purchase "organic" products to care for her hair, thinking that will cure her ailment, yet not come in to receive a professional color service. because it's "too expensive".   Lady, you just spent $45 on shampoo and conditioner, but you won't spend $45 on color???  How does this make sense??  I've explained hair color to her, hundreds of times.  Falls on deaf ears.

I'm not going to lie.  I got so frustrated with her that I told her I was buzzing her hair off next time so she has no choice but to start fresh and leave her hair alone.  I did apologize for my frankness (some just cannot handle it), but also explained, yet again, that you can't keep doing this to your hair, on your own, and expect the results you're looking for.  This is also the same woman who freaks out every time I cut her bangs, even though she asks me to do it, and I cut it exactly how she wants it done.  The fun part??  When it comes to cutting her hair, she has difficulty making a decision and will even leave it to her 9 year old to decide...who, by the way, is very decisive.  Thank god, because her mother sure isn't!