Just because....

I've sought the advice of many, because it's been a long time since I've been in the dating pool. All have said to tread carefully, due to the fact that he's recently divorced. Even my own gut said so, when listening to him lament about the same things...how he's never had to shop by himself before, an empty house, can only talk so much to your kids, etc. I both sympathize and empathize with this dilemma. Been there, done that. The best advice I've gotten is to ask him to something harmless and see what he does. (we did last week and had a great time!) This week, I got shot down. Ouch. Now, the adult in me realizes this is not the time frame to do this...the holidays are fast approaching, he owns his own business, and orders must be completed before the holiday. I get it. The giddy teenager in me is not impressed, at all. From blowing pretty hot to not so much in the course of a few days, well, it sucks. There are a lot of factors and/or variables that I'm not taking into consideration, because, well, I'm not there to listen to what his kids are saying to him. I'm too sure, because this is always the way, regardless of how old the children are (his are 16 & 12) that they are majorly affected by the divorce. And, no one but the kids know what Mom says when Dad isn't around. (and any of her friends). And, I only know what he's like around me. So, I've got nothing to go by, really. However, it still hurts, even though there isn't much invested in this. I hate the self-doubt, insecurity, and indecision that's involved in all of this. I'm sure that it's equal on both our parts...he's freshly divorced, and doesn't know which end is up, I've been out of the "dating pool" for 6 years. I use quotes because my last "dating" experience was with a full-blown, first class alcoholic. I always manage to find the emotionally unavailable and get attached. So, here I am, pity party, table of one. I'd like to say that I'll be optimistic about all of this, but, that's unlikely. I'm nothing if not one of the best doubting thomas' around.