Last night's class

So, we had a color class, in house, yesterday. What a great class!! The funny thing is that Frankie (the educator) taught my co workers what I already knew. What she did for me, was give me a couple of tricks to use with my clients, and explain the TiGi color line better, so we're all more comfortable using it. What she taught my co workers: How to do the regrowth with permanent color, and the ends with demi permanent to preserve the integrity of the hair. The Back story: One of the client/guinea pigs is a woman who is naturally a level 5 with 50% grey, medium texture, lots of natural wave/curl. She has been "blonded" with my favorite, 11A + 40 vol x 2. Which doesn't bring her to a level 11 (except on some of the over processed parts). and it offers NO grey coverage. The client, and her husband, don't really like the blonde that she'd become...too orangey for them. So, she was taken back to a level 7, which is in between what is her natural level (5), and what the blonde was (8-9). The end result looked a tad muddy to me, but that's mostly the lighting in the salon. What was important, is that the client liked it. It will be interesting to hear what the folks at home thought of her color! What I learned during this class about my co workers: They have little knowledge of how color works. Not just the line we were using, mind you, but color in general. They, even the amazing Evelyn, didn't know that when you're doing foils, (which requires lightener) that if you're combating hair that doesn't lift as well(due to color being continually dragged through the hair and well water), that you can and should re apply a fresh batch of lightener to those sections you know aren't going to do well. To me, this is a no-brainer. But, it totally didn't occur to Evelyn that she should do this. And, it didn't occur to Ginger, either. They never bothered to ask me, and I don't usually offer up what I know..it gets them testy. And, the fact that they have no idea how permanent color truly works. It's not the dye load that's permanent. It's the lifting action prior to deposit that is permanent. And, when you drag the color continually through the hair, the color that has ammonia in it, you are redepositing something that doesn't need to be there. Ginger is CONVINCED that why she can't get the comb through a certain client's hair is because of well water build up. Well water doesn't tend to build up on the ends of the hair...it stays more towards the root of the hair because that's where the water actually "hits" the hair...it doesn't have time to deposit the minerals as it slides down the hair. But it does have time when you leave your head under the spray of water. The real reason why she can't get the comb through is because of all that color being dragged through the hair and blowing the cuticle to kingdom come, continually. And Frankie explained all of that. And I watched the wheels turn in Ginger's head...I also watched the doors close on Evelyn's...because she knows everything, of course...

Because I'm such a brat....

Ever since Katie's Dad came back into the picture, we've all become "friends" on Facebook. It comes in handy if I need to communicate with him, although it isn't really with HIM. It's with his girlfriend, Brenda, who was originally quite instrumental in pushing Doug to contact Katie after she had contacted him. Make any sense?? Anyway....Brenda had recently posted pictures from the last big snow storm...and I commented on the picture. Here's the small back story on what's in the picture: When I was pregnant, Doug's big silver & blue pickup's engine blew....ugly. So, he needed a new truck. He didn't actually NEED the truck...just a reliable vehicle. He took one look at this one ton, cinnamon red & silver ford pick up (the nose-blower special, mind you), instantly fell in love, and bought the damn thing. His truck payments, at that time, were more than my rent was!! At the time, I wasn't happy with him for buying that truck (no, we weren't living together)...it was waaaaaay to expensive, and we had a baby on the way. Jump ahead, 14 years later...the truck actually still exists, albeit in very rough shape. The vehicle he took so much pride in now smells like a dirty ashtray, the dash has cracks in it, hasn't been properly cleaned in FOREVER, the chrome is peeling off the stirrups...sad, really. Any way, Brenda had posted the picture of the truck, half buried in snow (someone swept off the passenger side of the truck to demonstrate how deep the snow was). The comment I wrote was "Awww....Katie's truck is BURIED!!!" knowing he wouldn't bother to say anything...he never goes on Facebook. Here comes the fun part...."Doug" got on and made the comment "That's Brenda's truck!!!"...It wasn't Doug that made the comment, it was Brenda, under Doug's sign in. How do I know this??? Well, Doug's command of written English is a bit interesting...he didn't take typing (as far as I know) in high school, so everything he types (because he's actually sent Katie messages before) are a huge, unpunctuated run on sentence. The comment was properly punctuated, spelled, capitalized, spaced, you name it. Oh, and Doug never remembers his passwords to sign into anything...Brenda does it all. It was unbelievably tempting to say "well, considering "you" bought that truck back in '96, when I was pregnant with Katie, I've always considered it to be her truck" or something equally stabbing right between the eyes to her. However, he chooses to live with her, so I decided to take the high road. Let her think I'm not smart enough to figure things out. Eventually, she'll figure out I'm a lot smarter than she looks!! I'm betting Katie's birthday party will be quite interesting, too, especially if they all come up here!! Stay tuned........

Updates as they happen (sorta)

I just noticed I didn't update anyone on my breakfast date. So, here it is: Went to breakfast...looked FABULOUS...had some seriously huge Bon Jovi hair going on....Breakfast was just that...breakfast. I worried about where to put the child for nothing, really. Tod was acting weird, even for him. I just chalked it up to nervousness. Boy, was I wrong!! Jump ahead to Monday....he's making posts about how 2011 has started off on a great note. Silly me, I thought it was about ME...wrong again!! Here's what happened: Tod had tried to get me to come over to his house. I turned him down. Eventually, at some point, his "secret crush" magically appeared on his doorstep. Apparently (from what I gleaned off FB, not because he was honest and told me), she has never before given him the time of day. And magically appears on his doorstep. And, being a guy, since opportunity knocked, he answered. Now, the right thing he should have done was to call me and tell me something came up and he couldn't make it. But, that didn't happen. He went ahead with breakfast, then told me, through FB, the next day, that it was a bad idea to go to breakfast,that it didn't feel right. That something happened that he wouldn't get into with me. I got quite angry with him, and told him so. There's nothing I dislike more than dishonesty. Would I have been happy knowing he had sex with someone the night before?? Probably not, even though there was nothing "promised" between the two of us. However, I'm naive, rusty enough to have believed the things he was telling me prior to...how beautiful, sexy, blah blah blah I am....sigh.... So, I avoided him on FB for a week, then went back into his "Wall" and read about how he "f***** up last week, and now I have to live with it" (which he has since taken off FB), and it seems, he's still having the pity party, table of one over the whole thing. I'd like to think he's feeling bad over the way he treated me, but probably not. I'm sure he's lamenting over the fact that he got royally used by "the secret crush"... And, this is the question he posed on FB: "What would you do if your secret crush appeared on your doorstep??" So, here is my answer: For myself, I'd be a bit suspicious. This is someone who has previously NEVER given me the time of day. Why would they show up at my house now??? The fact that my daughter is always with me is also my saving grace...a guarantee that nothing will go amuck, because she's there and we live in a small apartment. The fact that I don't live on the main drag would also tell me someone did some serious digging to find where I live....that one I'd be on the fence about. On the one hand "He must really like me" would come to mind, then instantly, "How did you find where I live" since I don't tend to socialize with my co-workers, would also come to mind. But, I'm like that. I don't have that extra "brain" to think with. Although, there are some women who think like that, I'm not one of them. Never have been. So, my sympathy for him doesn't extend very far. And, truly, knowing how angry I got, if my friendship was really as "dear" as he stated, to my mind, something more than a half-assed apology would have been in order. Apparently, he'd rather beat himself up than man up, apologize, and salvage a friendship that's existed for 25 years. Kind of stinks to find out how you truly rate in this world with some people. ANOTHER UPDATE: I let the people in my life for whom I take care of their hair outside of the salon know that I would no longer be doing that. None of my reasons are made up. I'm tired of doing hair outside of work. Financially, it doesn't do me any good. Some of my travelling to do hair is a 40 mile round trip to make it happen. While I love all these friends dearly, I don't' want to do hair outside of work any longer. It's truly an inconvenient pain in the behind. Dragging all of my stuff with me, always leaving something behind, washing hair in the kitchen sink, or dealing with sprayed down, dirty hair (which just feels nasty...), and bartering for things. Tired of all of it. I am also getting ready to order my study kit for ABCH (American Board of Certified Haircolorists), to start studying/practicing to take the exam, hopefully in August of 2012, if not August of 2013. It's the equivalent of a masters degree in haircolor and it's something I've wanted for a long time. Mostly what I'm waiting for is my tax stuff to come back so I can file them, receive the money, and purchase the study materials, which come to over $500, not including shipping. Then, there's also the huge amount of wear and tear on my car...and I can't swing car payments right now....sigh... Katie's dad is also 3 weeks behind on child support...an amount I cannot carry. So, there's some financial struggling going on right now. Things are behind, which never makes me feel comfy.... Some of Katie's issues with school have been dealt with, albeit in a very heavy handed way. The principal had to come down on her head with a major threat to get her to stay in school. And the criteria for staying home has changed. A fever of over 100 is the only thing that keeps her at home. Period. And she needs a doctors note to get back into school. No more notes from me. So far, so good. She hasn't pulled any of her usual shenanigans since that day. I got a raise at work. While that's exciting, more money in my paycheck, it also makes hitting commission that much harder. Which was the other reason for not doing hair at home any longer. Unfortunately, where I work, versus where the Massachusetts contingent live isn't terribly convenient, for anybody. And I've upset the balance within the force by telling them so. But, I'm not backing down. Not giving in. Not trading services for services. Nothing. It stresses me out too much.

Please don't lie to your hairdresser....

So, I had this client the other day....(sounds like the beginning of a joke) she has fine, thin hair. (remember, they're two different things) She also colors her hair at home. Her complaint, besides the thinness and the fine-ness, it that it's dry. No matter how much conditioner she uses. My first comment was "When you color your hair, do you pull the color through your hair, or do you just do your regrowth??" "Oh, no. I just do my color like this" and demonstrates using the bottle on just her regrowth. "I never mush the color on the ends". So, we finish the consultation and head over to the sink...which I'm now going to refer to as the lie detector. I get her head into the sink, and get her hair wet. IMMEDIATELY, her hair, what little there is, clumps together. I apply the shampoo, and start asking questions: "do you take any medications?? Do you have well water??" Nothing major for medications, and town water. I explain how both can build up on the hair. I shampooed her hair 3 times...still couldn't get my hands through her hair...then I conditioned...still didn't work. Bring her back to my station, and apply a protein/keratin spray...now I can get the comb through. During the course of the haircut (which didn't take long, and I managed to cut myself because she has no hair!!) I discuss the damage that's been done to her hair. She didn't bother denying that I knew what she'd done. It's not her fault, and I explained so. It's the stupid directions in the box of color. I also explained that she needed to upgrade her shampoo (currently using the BARGAIN brand , which is flavored floor stripper) get regular trims, and amp up the protein in her diet...all these things will improve the condition of her hair, over time. SHAMPOO: It's soooo important to use good shampoo/conditioner, especially if you're going to chemically treat your hair. You can't trash your hair with chemicals, then use cheap crap products. Your hair turns into a Brillo pad. REGULAR TRIMS: Regular is what you make it...every two months, every month, which ever fits into your budget is regular, in my opinion. However, regular it must be. You can't grow your hair as long as it will get if you don't trim it up so it's even every so often. That 2 inch wide long section that touches your waist doesn't count as long hair...the rest of the hair needs to be there, too!!! COLORING YOUR HAIR AT HOME: Not much is going to prevent this from happening. However, the directions need to change in the box. All you're doing when you "freshen up" the color according to the directions is ruining your hair. You're bringing ammonia down to the ends, where it isn't needed, and it blows the cuticles wide open, creating that rough texture that only a haircut will fix. There isn't enough product in the world to apply to your hair that will fix that hot mess. So, in conclusion, please don't lie to your hairdresser. We always find out in the end.

Anxiety.....

We have an extra person that lives in our house. It's kind of like in the "Family Circus" cartoon when "Not Me" shows up. Except ours is Anxiety. I only found out a few years ago that I suffer from panic attacks. I don't have them very often, and now that I know what they are, I recognize when they're happening, and I do what I can (deep breathing, visualizing, self talk, which ever works) to lessen the anxiety. Most of the time, I can manage to avoid what sends me into orbit. A lot of it has to do with staying away from my brother, who is the main source of the anxiety. My mother is part of it, too. Just not as bad as my brother is. Because of my panic attacks, Katie also suffers from generalized anxiety disorder. She actually has a diagnosis. And it's not necessarily something that's being worked on while Katie is in therapy...I'm not really sure because I'm not always a part of the therapy sessions. A phone call to the therapist is in order. Part of tomorrow's to do list. Katie has anxiety for a variety of reasons. The school bully gets her going. Knowing I'm going to be angry about "X" (what ever she's pulling this week)will do it. Making plans with her father will do it. Missing her appointed homework time with her best friend did it this week. Right before Christmas break, it was the whole thing with going to her Dad's for Christmas,which, by the way, went fine. Everybody liked her, she got some cool presents, had a great time, got to experience what it's like to be a part of a big family (her dad is one of 4, she has 4 cousins with his family, and two of his siblings are married). Katie missed her homework time because Vanessa's mom had gall bladder surgery, and had to stay in the hospital overnight, due to issues with the anesthesia. (which is common for her) Katie also has anxiety about being home alone. However, she doesn't always like going to her grandmothers to stay for the day,either. Gram also causes some anxiety for Katie because she's far more judgmental about it than I am. Katie missing the homework, and having to go to Saturday Academy to make up the work will also give her anxiety. The idea of me dating, possibly actually getting a boyfriend in my life, also gives her anxiety. So. There it is. Anxiety lives in my house. And I have no patience for anxiety, which doesn't help Katie's situation, at all.

Lessons I'm learning....

1. Dipping my toe in the dating pool isn't as easy as it sounds. 2. Chatting on Facebook is not the best interaction you can have with a potential date. (this should be a no-brainer, but, apparently, I need to remind myself of this) 3. Most people will tell you want they think you want to hear until they get what they want. 4. When they don't get what they want, then they'll tell you something else. 5. I should really, REALLY listen to my gut when it's talking.

Dipping my toe into the dating pool

For some reason, the gods have determined that this is going to be my year. Apparently, I've become attractive to the opposite sex again. Well, it's not that I haven't been attractive to others...on the contrary, I've been asked out, many times. However, no one has been attractive to ME, with the one most recent exception. Until now. I had a boyfriend in high school, who had a best friend, Tod. I remember meeting him way back then. As a matter of fact, he actually was the one who found my class ring, crushed, on the ground at the race track and returned it to me. But, that was the extent of my interaction with him. He was one of Wade's friends, and that was it. I've run into Tod, over the years, in various retail establishments. And, we've always managed to chat for a long time each time we've seen one another. And, we're friends on Facebook. We chat every once in a while, on FB. About a month ago, he listed his relationship status as "single", and I commented on it, remarking that I was sorry things didn't work out. A week ago, he posted a question on FB. It went something like this: If you were a hobbit, which one would you be and why? To which I replied, Samwise's wife, because she's short and has red wavy hair. And a conversation ensued. Which eventually got a little flirty. And I asked him if he was getting flirty. To which I received a private message from him, admitting that, yes, he was getting flirty. We talked for 2 hours on FB. And made a date for this Sunday (today, in fact) to have breakfast. We were on again the other night, and managed to talk, again, for two hours. Now, I realize that this story is sounding suspiciously like my previous dating story. It does get better. He lets me know (because it's easier when you're on FB instead of face to face) that he thinks I'm cute, sexy as hell, blah blah blah. I'm liking this, as I've always been mildly attracted to Tod, so, I'm going along with all of this. That conversation ended, because, well, it was nearing 11pm...waaaaay past my bedtime!! Then, there was last night. During another open conversation, he not only let the free world (anybody reading his posts) know he still thinks I'm sexy as hell, but that he was home and I should just come on over and watch the hockey game with him. (could rightly care less about hockey, mind you). It was unbelievably tempting to head over there last night. UNBELIEVABLY. However, I was a good girl and didn't go. I was kid-free, too. And, I don't regret it, either. That's not how I wish to start things up. Wrong foot is not the place to be!! Now, let's look at this morning. I actually got up at 4:30 this morning, because that's when my internal alarm said "HEY! GET UP!!" I fought it for a little bit, then gave in and got up. And spent the early morning hours in a state of total nervousness. Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting episode!!